The joke helped us at the front too
Many Soviet military newspapers had satirical sections. They published poems, ditties, cartoons, feuilletons – in a word, materials that were supposed to make the soldiers smile.
We have prepared a selection of such articles from the satirical supplement “Direct Fire” to the Leningrad Front newspaper “On Guard of the Motherland” for 1941-1942. Most of the notes were written by front-line soldiers.
The hydropathic clinic on Lake Peipsi was founded in 1242. He is widely known in German circles. Specialty: treatment of delirium tremens and violent insanity. Latest advances in medicine. Lead lotions in the back of the head. Ice baths. Iron in and out. Rubbing and grinding into powder. Cooling shower. Bitter pills for gentlemen suffering from memory constipation. The course of treatment is quick and with a full guarantee
(“Direct Fire”, April 5, 1942)
Too tough Hitler shouted “Hey, slaves! I promise half of Europe. Only you have to crawl to Leningrad for this.” The criminals and thieves answered in a friendly chorus: “At least for each slave Give 33 Europe, We’ll still rush back – Leningrad is inedible
(Junior political instructor A. Teterin. “Direct fire”, December 18, 1941)
Following a fresh trail Before the Germans, who had captured the village of Podosinovika, had time to plunder them to their hearts’ content, the partisans who arrived put them to flight. – No, you bastards, you won’t leave! – shouted the old partisan Nefed. – By the way, they stole my felt boots. The partisans gave chase. The detachment was led by grandfather Nefed, who found the way by following footprints in the snow. They walked for a long time. Some began to feel doubtful. They take a closer look and see that the tracks seem to lead in the opposite direction. Then everyone attacked the grandfather. – Why are you fooling us? But the grandfather held firm – Let’s move on. I know my felt boots well. The partisans went deeper into the forest and soon caught the Germans. They took away the loot, and in the middle of it all, it looked like grandfather’s felt boots. They pestered the old man: “How did you find it?” Say yes say. And grandfather Nefed smiles slyly and answers: “It’s an ordinary thing.” Out of fear, when they ran away, they put on their felt boots backwards. Well, you can’t fool me, I know all their bestial habits.
(Ol. Riss. “Direct fire”, December 18, 1941)
The situation is obvious – Chief Lieutenant Grabe, how is your command staff? – Half, Mister General. – More precisely! – The head of a lieutenant, the leg of a non-commissioned officer, the backside of a corporal, no one has any brains left.
(Senior Sergeant A. Gilvarg. “Direct Fire”, January 14, 1942)
Not divided The Germans call the Finns allies. But we know what kind of friendship they have. They live like a cat and a dog. One day, two allies jumped out of the dugout – a German officer and a Finnish one. And we rushed to the village to look for warm clothes. They run, tremble, and don’t get caught in the cold because of the cold. They met an old watchman who was hobbling from school to the hospital, they attacked him, beat him, pulled off his sheep’s coat and – back to their lair. The German put on a sheepskin coat, but didn’t even give the Finn mittens. The Finn was offended and demanded his share of the spoils. “We,” he says, “must wear it together.” – Who is it? – the German was surprised – sheepskin coat – What sheepskin coat? – the German was even more surprised. – After all, we walked with you? – We walked – did you find the sheepskin coat? – Found. “Well, we’ll wear it together.” – Who is it? – the German asks. – Toeloop – What sheepskin coat? And the fairy tale about the white bull begins again. The allies would have argued for a long time or a short time, but then the partisans arrived and dealt with it fairly – they killed both bandits.”
(Junior Lieutenant Vl. Belyaev. “Direct Fire”, December 24, 1941)
“ВЧК ОГПУ”