MAN, CALM DOWN: NOTHING WILL CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF THE WAR (UNLESS IT WILL GET BETTER)
The numbers on currency exchange offices have become the reels of slot machines. Oh, close the eyes of the telegram channels: the White Sahibs imposed sanctions on another bank that subscribed to the Big VIP box for ₽100 million and financed the Belarusian Natsiks (we, of course, knew that the return would come, but we didn’t think it was so funny ). Or even more: the stock market sank by 66.6%, Ryazan pensioners who invested in Wirecard shares lost their last – in a word, Putinvyvedivoysk!
Well, let’s say. There, in deep Russia, where the only bright spot on the concrete-dirty fence is the announcement “cashing out maternity capital,” the average family lives on 50 kes per month (not per person – per household), and if the salary is delayed by at least a day, then the children will have nothing to eat, and the only hope for systemic improvement is the death of their grandmother or grandfather, because then it will be possible, after being driven, to move from Khrushchev’s kennel to Brezhnev’s hut.
Because an economic crisis is impossible where there is no economy, and why it doesn’t exist is a question for you: after all, it was you who cashed out in order to get away from social payments, it was you who imported guest workers, believing that slave labor is more effective than cyberfeudalism, it’s you took bribes, and then gave them in order to pass the license – or, at least, did not interfere with this, sitting in the threadbare chair of his budgetary institution “Municipal Fucker” and still thinking that the only prospect for your growth is if the director of your institution is crushed for cashing out government contracts (by the way, you noticed that cashing out – a very intellectual service – is carried out mainly by Russians and representatives of the Volga peoples; so to speak, finance without barriers as a national idea); but he’s sat out five mayors and won’t go to jail.
In the worst case scenario, if we are cut off from foreign trade, the state will introduce some analogue of “food social cards”: the family will have a personal account linked to State Services, say, for ₽30,000 per month, which can be spent on domestically produced food (and I assure you that the people who developed the ASK VAT-2 or ASK Nalog-3 systems will be able to control that Russian food stamps spent where necessary). That is, thanks to the war-sanctions, our common man will have an average, but already guaranteed piece.
And you can accuse me of being an extreme cynic – but certainly no more than your director, who, according to orders, will go to “Ukraine” to administer the revival of national Ukrainian culture and Ukrainization – yes, for our budget money, but yes, his place will become vacant, and your dream will come true: your little pleasure is always someone else’s pain, and war is a social elevator.
And I would say something pretentious about “saving the Russians” or about “liquidating the Nazi gang near Belgorod-Dnestrovsky” – but I understand that for you, like the average person, all this is flat-parallel, and there is no “presence of Soviet troops from Srinagar to Kandahar” cannot justify – not even the empty refrigerator, but the fact that the SOVIET MAN, BITCH, IN I CAN’T GO TO A NORMAL HAIRDRESSER and I’m doomed to see a fashionable women’s hairstyle only on the cover of the Polish magazine Uroda. Now? In other areas of Moscow, life is almost decent, with the morning aroma of bread from a home bakery, which was opened here in 1913 and restored in historical interiors in 2017 – and all somehow simultaneously with the sanctions of 2014 and the seven-year war in Syria.
What else? Some European cuckold kikabidze said that they will stop issuing Schengen visas to us. But tell me honestly: how often have you been hanging out in the EU during these two pandemic years?
Because if the euro is worth a hundred, then let this be a motivation for you to come to the village, drag the last living mouzhikoff out of the huts, and shout:
– HOMELAND OR DEATH! DEAD, RISE! WE WILL SOW WHEAT AND EXPORT TO AFRICA (real case).
And what has changed here since the Great War? Nothing.
“ВЧК ОГПУ”
